"Other people do not make me feel the way I feel. Where I live, the kind of car I drive, and how much money and security I have, do not make me feel the way I feel."
Probably I have never been more at a loss than I was, the first time these ideas were introduced to me. It just didn't make sense in any way to me. You made me angry, I did what I did because of what you did. My financial situation controlled my feelings at any given time, as did my love life. Turns out I was totally controlled by things outside of myself, and I had an excuse for everything, and none of it was my fault!
If ever there was a doozy, here it is: "I take full responsibility for how I feel and for all of my actions."
This one I had to sit with and talk with people about, and work through for years, and a statement like this is a 7 day a week, 24 hour kind of thing. I have some days that are better than others, but always I must in the end, own up and take responsibility.
The key here is in my decision making! I make lots of decisions about you and how you and the world should behave, and then I make decisions about how I am going to feel if things go my way or don't go my way. I found when I closely examined myself, that most of these things were just programmed in to me. Things like "money=happiness/no money=unhappiness" were just so normal to me that it was a given. "How could you possibly be happy if you are broke? If you have no love life? If things aren't going your way at work? If your car broke down?" I asked. So basically, I was happy as long as everyone around me was acting the way I thought they should, I had some money to spend and a girl friend. So how often do you think I was happy? Not very often. As a matter of fact I found myself getting more and more miserable, and getting in more and more trouble in life. I felt jerked around a lot. See, I would have some money and I'd be happy, but my car would break down and then I'd get mad, and then my girl friend would come and pick me up and I'd be happy, but then she would explain that she was leaving me and I'd get mad and upset. Then I'd have to go out with my friends and I'd be happy, but of course I would get mad again at something, and after a while, I didn't know which way was up any more. As a matter of fact, this is how I finally landed on a Mental Ward with a lady sitting across from me with a clipboard and nicely saying to me "I am not responsible for how you feel." She had a lot of explaining to do in my case. As mentioned earlier, I read a lot and spoke with a lot of people over the years about this, and it is still something I have to be aware of at all times.
The exercise I was given was to change my language. Instead of saying "You made me angry!" I was to say "I am making the decision to be angry at you because you are wearing that stupid hat!" It is important to not only own it, but to give reason. This is MAJOR and got me started off in a good way towards what I now know as "Self Control". By giving the REASON, I was able to easily see in many cases, that many of the decisions I was making didn't make much sense! At this stage of the game, at any given time I am either being "World Controlled" or I am practicing "Self Control". This language exercise is the best help I have found in helping me to make better decisions about how I feel. My words are of the utmost importance.
SPIRIT
Welcome to the SPIRIT Center! SPIRIT-Healing-Music-Meditation
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I Have A Mission
Last Sunday my mother called and told me that my Uncle Kyle, who I was named after, had shot himself and was dead. Kyle was her baby brother, and she was frantically upset, but managed to tell me that my Aunt Carolyn had been away at her brother and sister in laws house, and Kyle had called and said he needed Steve(Carolyn's brother) to come over and help him with something. Steve found Kyle's body on the back porch, where he always sat and drank coffee and smoked cigars, and just watched nature.
Thanksgiving before last, Kyle gave me a guitar that he had bought a few months earlier. He had been trying to get back in to playing music as he had when he was younger. Heck, when I was a kid, he taught me a lot about playing guitar, but now he had trouble. We sat in my garage and talked, and it was the one and only time we ever spoke of his addiction battle with food. See, his fingers were so big, he couldn't play the guitar. His stomach was so big that he couldn't reach the guitar neck. It was no use. It wasn't just the guitar either. He couldn't walk very far without losing his breath. His back and knees were in bad shape. He seriously just could reach the steering wheel of his car around his stomach. Along with the guitar, he gave me his old three ring binder song book that he had used when he played the clubs like I do now. I should have known then, and I did know, but I figured he would die of a heart attack, and it never once crossed my mind that he would commit suicide. I gave him an A.A. big book and 12 and 12.(The two main A.A. books) I told him he was just like an alcoholic or an addict, except his drug was food. I told him all about Overeater's Anonymous, how he needed to get some help. He said, and I quote him here: "No I couldn't do that. I've got too much pride." We spoke on the phone a few months later, and I asked him if he had read the books. He just changed the subject, and I didn't say anything more about it.
I think back tonight about when he was in the Navy. I was just a kid, and he would come and visit us and he was just so full of life. He had a blue van, and he travelled around to lots of bluegrass festivals and played his banjo and guitar in clubs around Charleston. He would show me stuff on guitar, and he once took me to the mall and bought me the Heart "Dreamboat Annie" lp and the Boston lp with "More Than A Feeling" on it. (that would have been 1976) Then I remember my mom and dad taking me to Charleston when he got married. He was the coolest Uncle a kid could have, but when he got married, it all stopped. He lost interest in me, he got a job, he quit playing music, and "settled down" or better yet "grew up". Over 30 something years, he took up photography and then stopped, took up fishing and then stopped, took up going to various church's and then stopped, all the while battling with his weight. He would sometimes starve himself, try diets, he was grabbing at straws, because he always ended up on the losing side.
On the same day in 2009 when he gave me the guitar, he told me he was tired of fighting, and was going to just do whatever he wanted. He quoted from the bible that Jesus loves us no matter what, and I couldn't much argue with him. I took the guitar and hung it on a hanger in my room, where it stayed untouched for months. One day I just randomly picked it up, put it in an alternative tuning, and started playing. WOW it was perfect for these "New Age" kinds of sounds. As life has evolved these last few months, I have taken it to Yoga classes, Meditation sessions, and I played it this morning at Unity during service, and then during my friend Cleveland's meditation workshop. Seven days after his departure. I find it odd that it is this particular guitar that is so perfect for my healing and meditation music. I sort of believe that it is my Uncle Kyle's SPIRIT that comes through it. What "could have been". Another lifetime of another man totally whipped by this thing we call "addiction".
I did all my gigs this week except for Saturday. We played a late one Friday and I got home around 3 a.m. on Saturday morning. My other Uncle, his wife, and two of my cousins, along with my wife, all went to Columbia S.C. on Saturday, to the memorial. Tonight I feel like I just saw the ghost of "Me without this gift of recovery" that I have been granted. What's done is done, and my mom, my other Uncle, and Aunt Carolyn will all go on with their lives the best they can. I will go on with mine too, but with more resolve and purpose than ever. I have a mission to carry SPIRIT and LIFE and HEALING to the world, and tonight I feel it deeper than ever. How I love my life and my friends, and my family, and all the music and people I get to play music with, and how I love this SPIRIT group!!! Like the song says, "I get by with a little help from my friends".
SPIRIT
R.I.P. Kyle Ross Mitchell(Mitch)
Born on December 3, 1951
Passed on August 7th, 2011
Thanksgiving before last, Kyle gave me a guitar that he had bought a few months earlier. He had been trying to get back in to playing music as he had when he was younger. Heck, when I was a kid, he taught me a lot about playing guitar, but now he had trouble. We sat in my garage and talked, and it was the one and only time we ever spoke of his addiction battle with food. See, his fingers were so big, he couldn't play the guitar. His stomach was so big that he couldn't reach the guitar neck. It was no use. It wasn't just the guitar either. He couldn't walk very far without losing his breath. His back and knees were in bad shape. He seriously just could reach the steering wheel of his car around his stomach. Along with the guitar, he gave me his old three ring binder song book that he had used when he played the clubs like I do now. I should have known then, and I did know, but I figured he would die of a heart attack, and it never once crossed my mind that he would commit suicide. I gave him an A.A. big book and 12 and 12.(The two main A.A. books) I told him he was just like an alcoholic or an addict, except his drug was food. I told him all about Overeater's Anonymous, how he needed to get some help. He said, and I quote him here: "No I couldn't do that. I've got too much pride." We spoke on the phone a few months later, and I asked him if he had read the books. He just changed the subject, and I didn't say anything more about it.
I think back tonight about when he was in the Navy. I was just a kid, and he would come and visit us and he was just so full of life. He had a blue van, and he travelled around to lots of bluegrass festivals and played his banjo and guitar in clubs around Charleston. He would show me stuff on guitar, and he once took me to the mall and bought me the Heart "Dreamboat Annie" lp and the Boston lp with "More Than A Feeling" on it. (that would have been 1976) Then I remember my mom and dad taking me to Charleston when he got married. He was the coolest Uncle a kid could have, but when he got married, it all stopped. He lost interest in me, he got a job, he quit playing music, and "settled down" or better yet "grew up". Over 30 something years, he took up photography and then stopped, took up fishing and then stopped, took up going to various church's and then stopped, all the while battling with his weight. He would sometimes starve himself, try diets, he was grabbing at straws, because he always ended up on the losing side.
On the same day in 2009 when he gave me the guitar, he told me he was tired of fighting, and was going to just do whatever he wanted. He quoted from the bible that Jesus loves us no matter what, and I couldn't much argue with him. I took the guitar and hung it on a hanger in my room, where it stayed untouched for months. One day I just randomly picked it up, put it in an alternative tuning, and started playing. WOW it was perfect for these "New Age" kinds of sounds. As life has evolved these last few months, I have taken it to Yoga classes, Meditation sessions, and I played it this morning at Unity during service, and then during my friend Cleveland's meditation workshop. Seven days after his departure. I find it odd that it is this particular guitar that is so perfect for my healing and meditation music. I sort of believe that it is my Uncle Kyle's SPIRIT that comes through it. What "could have been". Another lifetime of another man totally whipped by this thing we call "addiction".
I did all my gigs this week except for Saturday. We played a late one Friday and I got home around 3 a.m. on Saturday morning. My other Uncle, his wife, and two of my cousins, along with my wife, all went to Columbia S.C. on Saturday, to the memorial. Tonight I feel like I just saw the ghost of "Me without this gift of recovery" that I have been granted. What's done is done, and my mom, my other Uncle, and Aunt Carolyn will all go on with their lives the best they can. I will go on with mine too, but with more resolve and purpose than ever. I have a mission to carry SPIRIT and LIFE and HEALING to the world, and tonight I feel it deeper than ever. How I love my life and my friends, and my family, and all the music and people I get to play music with, and how I love this SPIRIT group!!! Like the song says, "I get by with a little help from my friends".
SPIRIT
R.I.P. Kyle Ross Mitchell(Mitch)
Born on December 3, 1951
Passed on August 7th, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Can I Change?
First off, let's completely forget about what we want to change. Habits, characteristics, situations, etc... Let's ask ourselves the question "Do I have the power and the ability to change?"
Oddly enough, what just popped into my head is the story of a friend of mine who achieved great success in the music business! Literally he one day had $5, and the next day he had millions! People use the term "over night success" and it was used about my friend, but I had seen him play for over 10 years! Just a few months before he "hit it big", he was driving around the country in an old van with his dog, playing for whatever he could scrape up. I remember us doing a gig and making $50 a piece. Shortly after that, and within a very short period of time, his life changed drastically.
This story is the perfect example of change being something that we work towards.
Another thing that comes up right now is "Why would I pray for more, when I don't seem to be able to handle what I already have?" Now this is a tough one, but true as the sky is blue. In my prayers and meditations I received this question, and immediately knew that something was not right with me. Upon closer examination, I found that I was asking for the "final result". Asking and asking until one day it was pointed out to me that I was asking for money, while showing no signs of being able to be responsible with money. Also, it was pointed out that I was asking for final results, as if there was no work for me to do! Then I realized also that I had fallen back into an old pattern of asking of God all the time, instead of thanking God for what I already have! Understand that this is just me, but these are major pitfalls that I have to watch out for. No asking, just thanking! (May I add, that this approach has been much more helpful!)
We have to understand that these changes we want are gigantic! When these changes occur, we are going to be in a different world, on a different channel, a different plane of existence. Also, we have to understand that in order to receive, we have to give. We have to work for what we want. We have to learn our lessons in the here and now and ready ourselves for the changes we want.
So I can't just suddenly be on top of the mountain, I got some climbing to do! I am very thankful that I have all I need to take a step today!
SPIRIT
Oddly enough, what just popped into my head is the story of a friend of mine who achieved great success in the music business! Literally he one day had $5, and the next day he had millions! People use the term "over night success" and it was used about my friend, but I had seen him play for over 10 years! Just a few months before he "hit it big", he was driving around the country in an old van with his dog, playing for whatever he could scrape up. I remember us doing a gig and making $50 a piece. Shortly after that, and within a very short period of time, his life changed drastically.
This story is the perfect example of change being something that we work towards.
Another thing that comes up right now is "Why would I pray for more, when I don't seem to be able to handle what I already have?" Now this is a tough one, but true as the sky is blue. In my prayers and meditations I received this question, and immediately knew that something was not right with me. Upon closer examination, I found that I was asking for the "final result". Asking and asking until one day it was pointed out to me that I was asking for money, while showing no signs of being able to be responsible with money. Also, it was pointed out that I was asking for final results, as if there was no work for me to do! Then I realized also that I had fallen back into an old pattern of asking of God all the time, instead of thanking God for what I already have! Understand that this is just me, but these are major pitfalls that I have to watch out for. No asking, just thanking! (May I add, that this approach has been much more helpful!)
We have to understand that these changes we want are gigantic! When these changes occur, we are going to be in a different world, on a different channel, a different plane of existence. Also, we have to understand that in order to receive, we have to give. We have to work for what we want. We have to learn our lessons in the here and now and ready ourselves for the changes we want.
So I can't just suddenly be on top of the mountain, I got some climbing to do! I am very thankful that I have all I need to take a step today!
SPIRIT
Friday, July 15, 2011
Video From July 10th, 2011 @ Tybee Church
As always, I had a very wonderful time at the Tybee Church! Sam Adams is a great man, and serves as inspiration to me every day! Please see the "Video" page for last weeks musical performance and talk!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
A Picture from the Savannah Yoga Center
This is a photograph of me at The Savannah Yoga Center, getting ready to play healing meditation music during a Yin Yoga class led by Lauren Lapointe! Thanks to Lauren and all the participants for such a moving experience!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Religious Tolerance
Please tread carefully through this world. The ego is alive and well, and has been for century's. People in general have a strong need to be "right". People who are "right" get together, and decide that other people are "wrong". People, or ego's I should say, like to fight, condemn, and kill people who are "wrong".
THE GOLDEN RULE is called that, because of it's huge value. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Perhaps what is in question here is: What do we do when people treat us badly, or not how we would like to be treated? How do we cohabitate with people who are different? Most importantly, "How do we treat ourselves?"
These are a few good questions:
1) Do I feel a strong need to be "right"?
2) Do I feel like I know "the way", while most people do not?
3) Do I see my ego or do I feel like I don't have one?
4) Do I hold people's differences against them?
5) How do I look at people who are different from me?
We all have common threads of life, breath, and the I AM inside of us. There are African Americans, White people, Chinese, short haird Polo shirt college guy, long haired hippy guy, surfer guy, gangsta, redneck, another long list of "clicks". The most important thing that each of us has, is the same thing, the ONENESS. Please do not condemn another person. Chances are, it is someone you see on the news that you don't even know. Chances are very good that the person you are condemning is not doing anything that will affect you at all. So why do you care? To feel "better than". There is no escaping subdivisions and classes of people, no matter where you are. It isn't just in the material countries, but everywhere. Work towards catching yourself, and correcting yourself. Remind yourself of our common thread.
SPIRIT
THE GOLDEN RULE is called that, because of it's huge value. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Perhaps what is in question here is: What do we do when people treat us badly, or not how we would like to be treated? How do we cohabitate with people who are different? Most importantly, "How do we treat ourselves?"
These are a few good questions:
1) Do I feel a strong need to be "right"?
2) Do I feel like I know "the way", while most people do not?
3) Do I see my ego or do I feel like I don't have one?
4) Do I hold people's differences against them?
5) How do I look at people who are different from me?
We all have common threads of life, breath, and the I AM inside of us. There are African Americans, White people, Chinese, short haird Polo shirt college guy, long haired hippy guy, surfer guy, gangsta, redneck, another long list of "clicks". The most important thing that each of us has, is the same thing, the ONENESS. Please do not condemn another person. Chances are, it is someone you see on the news that you don't even know. Chances are very good that the person you are condemning is not doing anything that will affect you at all. So why do you care? To feel "better than". There is no escaping subdivisions and classes of people, no matter where you are. It isn't just in the material countries, but everywhere. Work towards catching yourself, and correcting yourself. Remind yourself of our common thread.
SPIRIT
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A Creation of the CREATOR
affirmation
"I AM okay just the way I AM. Right where I live, right where I am working, with what I possess. I AM whole and complete right here and right now! I am a creation of the Creator!"
The idea that I want to share with you today is this: If what you have isn't enough, hiding in a very subtle way behind those feelings is the little voice that says "I am not enough". It's a simple enough equation to work out, and here is an example:
1) I want a nice new car!
2) Why don't I have one?
3) Because I can't afford it
4) Because I am just a musician(excuse) and didn't go to school and I haven't been as successful as I would have liked and things haven't gone my way.(victim)
5) But I am going to keep trying to work towards it, I am going to try harder(I haven't tried hard enough), work harder(I haven't worked hard enough), do this instead of that(I was doing it wrong), and one day I will get there.(Because here is not okay)
It is a very subtle voice that I don't even hear because it is hidden. It makes excuses, it says I am a victim, it quietly suggests that maybe I haven't tried or worked as hard as I should have or could have. It masks "Here is not okay" with "I would be okay if I could be there".
Ehkhart Tolle says that "If enlightenment is something you are going to do, are going to achieve, if it is something that you are working towards, you have already missed it, because enlightenment is right here in the present moment."
Use your awareness to watch for these kinds of thoughts. The idea is to be on alert for them, catch them, and correct them. Understand that it is all untrue. It is normal for people to really feel like they need an excuse, to feel victimized, to feel as if they should have worked harder or tried harder, or put more into it. I AM here to tell you that these feelings are just untrue. You have always done your best! You have always done what anyone who was you would do. We all do the best we can with what we have. The idea is to acknowledge this fact of Truth, and to spend some time being okay in the here and now with what you have and with things the way they are. Cultivate gratitude every day, and watch it grow into happiness! Stop making excuses, being a victim, telling yourself you should have done better, and start affirming "The Creator created me, and I am a creation of the Creator!" Know that this is the real Truth. You are a creation of the Creator. Treat yourself that way, see yourself that way, BE that way, right now!
For those of you who might think "This guy is blowing a lot of smoke", I respond in this fashion:
- Person #1 Does not make excuses, and does not see himself as a victim. He knows he always does his best, and that his best is good enough. He is happy with his life and with what he has, and knows that he is the creation of the Creator. He is happy, grateful, and satisfied.
-Person #2 Makes excuses about everything, and is a victim of the world. Things just don't go his way. His mind is filled with "You should have tried harder", "You should have worked harder", "You didn't do it right" and "You didn't do as good as you could have". He is unhappy, ungrateful, and unsatisfied.
Which person is set to succeed in life? Who is more likely to get a new car? It's a simple enough equation to work out!
SPIRIT
"I AM okay just the way I AM. Right where I live, right where I am working, with what I possess. I AM whole and complete right here and right now! I am a creation of the Creator!"
The idea that I want to share with you today is this: If what you have isn't enough, hiding in a very subtle way behind those feelings is the little voice that says "I am not enough". It's a simple enough equation to work out, and here is an example:
1) I want a nice new car!
2) Why don't I have one?
3) Because I can't afford it
4) Because I am just a musician(excuse) and didn't go to school and I haven't been as successful as I would have liked and things haven't gone my way.(victim)
5) But I am going to keep trying to work towards it, I am going to try harder(I haven't tried hard enough), work harder(I haven't worked hard enough), do this instead of that(I was doing it wrong), and one day I will get there.(Because here is not okay)
It is a very subtle voice that I don't even hear because it is hidden. It makes excuses, it says I am a victim, it quietly suggests that maybe I haven't tried or worked as hard as I should have or could have. It masks "Here is not okay" with "I would be okay if I could be there".
Ehkhart Tolle says that "If enlightenment is something you are going to do, are going to achieve, if it is something that you are working towards, you have already missed it, because enlightenment is right here in the present moment."
Use your awareness to watch for these kinds of thoughts. The idea is to be on alert for them, catch them, and correct them. Understand that it is all untrue. It is normal for people to really feel like they need an excuse, to feel victimized, to feel as if they should have worked harder or tried harder, or put more into it. I AM here to tell you that these feelings are just untrue. You have always done your best! You have always done what anyone who was you would do. We all do the best we can with what we have. The idea is to acknowledge this fact of Truth, and to spend some time being okay in the here and now with what you have and with things the way they are. Cultivate gratitude every day, and watch it grow into happiness! Stop making excuses, being a victim, telling yourself you should have done better, and start affirming "The Creator created me, and I am a creation of the Creator!" Know that this is the real Truth. You are a creation of the Creator. Treat yourself that way, see yourself that way, BE that way, right now!
For those of you who might think "This guy is blowing a lot of smoke", I respond in this fashion:
- Person #1 Does not make excuses, and does not see himself as a victim. He knows he always does his best, and that his best is good enough. He is happy with his life and with what he has, and knows that he is the creation of the Creator. He is happy, grateful, and satisfied.
-Person #2 Makes excuses about everything, and is a victim of the world. Things just don't go his way. His mind is filled with "You should have tried harder", "You should have worked harder", "You didn't do it right" and "You didn't do as good as you could have". He is unhappy, ungrateful, and unsatisfied.
Which person is set to succeed in life? Who is more likely to get a new car? It's a simple enough equation to work out!
SPIRIT
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